Chris Sutcliff

Acrylic

8 x 5.5 inches

2004

This image was copied from a film still, hence the motion lines. She wasn’t an octopus with a skid mark for a head.

Acrylic

8 x 5.5 inches (Each Panel)

2004

Acrylic

8 x 5.5 inches (Each Panel)

2003

I ran excitedly out of the house and into the street clutching the remote control in my hand. The new batteries had cost me nearly six pounds but I had bought them anyway, the cost was a tiny sacrifice what with all the changes I was about to make. I needed to test the remote before I put my plan into action so I aimed it straight at the sky and pressed STAND BY / ON. Nothing happened but I realised that, as there were already some clouds and it was raining, then the sky must already be ON. So I pressed REWIND because yesterday it had been sunny and that had been much better. Nothing happened. It was still today and it was still raining. Something had gone wrong.

Just then Professor Hirschhorn, who is the wisest of all the alley cats, came padding through a gap in a fence and straight up to me, purring and twining his ginger tail around my ankles. He hopped up onto a nearby wall so as to be nearer to my face, twitched his whiskers in that wise way of his and fixed me with his great green cat eyes. Then he said to me:

“You cannot control your world with mere devices. You cannot rewind your life to happier days, fast forward through all the tedious times, pause when things appear to be at their best or stop when you need a break from it all. You cannot change your channel, nor record the things that you are due to miss so that you can live through them at a time that suits you better. This is your life and this is how it is lived – one moment at a time. More importantly this is your ONLY life and to treat it as casually as you do your television is a travesty. If you truly want to control your world, to control it for the right reasons, for the benefit of everyone, I’ll tell you how. Cats know the ancient secret wisdoms, but they are secret for a REASON, you must never repeat what I am about to say. All you need to do is………”

Professor Hirschhorn had to stop there because I had taken the butt of the remote control and used it to smash his ginger head in. You see, nobody likes a smart arse giving you advice when you don’t want it and also I had found the experience of being addressed in perfect English by a cat absolutely terrifying. When a cat talks to you it is because you are mentally maladjusted and should not be allowed to be on the streets near other people, armed with a remote control and it’s expensive new batteries.

Acrylic, Ink, Biro

8 x 5.5 inches

2003

Acrylic, Print taken from a Leaf

8 x 5.5 inches

2003

Acrylic, Biro

8 x 5.5 inches

2003

My very good friend Emma Storton told me that Tabula Rasa is Latin for ‘Blank Tablet’ (slate), from which we derive ‘Blank Canvas’. I was impressed with this new knowledge so I wrote it on the then empty page. I went home inspired by my new phrase and put these two images on the blank pages, making them no longer blank, making it difficult to determine what I was thinking when I thought it would fit the title. I didn’t really grasp that one did I.

Acrylic, Ink, Graphite, Photography

8 x 5.5 inches (Each Panel)

2003

Contrary to popular opinion, the man on the left is not Ben Elton. The man on the right may be me only I don’t have a brick wall on my face.

Acrylic

8 x 5.5 inches

2003

No. I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never even heard of Mark Rothko or Lucio Fontana, and the very idea that I would take the main elements of their very famous works and fuse them together like some sort of aesthetic mule just to call it my own is ludicrous and offensive. I nicked the style of the title from Antoni Tapies who has the extraordinary ability to title all his paintings with a literal verbal description of exactly what is going on in the painting. Genius.

Acrylic, Ink

8 x 5.5 inches

2002

A completely imagined scene based on the numerous barnacle encrusted struts that pierce the sea and reach for the sky around Portsmouth. The keen eyed among you will notice that my interpretation of perspective bears no relation whatsoever to all the known teachings of science, art or nature. Damn the keen eyed among you.